Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Where did I put that Zoloft prescription?

I have been avoiding this blog like I avoid my two year-old after she skips a nap.  I haven't had anything nice to say, so my mama wouldn't want me to say anything at all.  But I realize that hasn't stopped me before and I didn't start this blog to show my girls with a sugar glaze on them, so let's get this show on the road...
The girls have been busy with dance recitals and 3K graduations.  I have been preparing for/stressing over Vacation Bible School that I am co-chairing.  This combo (along with the appliance problems I have mentioned before) has sent me to the mental edge.

The dance recital was as expected.  CUTE girls in their tutus that had no clue what they were doing.  I was crying with laughter by the end.  Weezie had to sit down towards the end of her tap number because her shoe had come untied and she could not go on.  We've all had those days.

The church school performance left a lot to be desired.  Both of my children (and none of the others) ran and danced around the stage leaving their sad duct tape x all alone.  It was mentally exhausting to watch.  Several folks thought it was quite a shame that I did not find the girls' lack of respect for the tape as endearing as they did.  I find it a shame, too.  I accepted early that I have loud, lively, yet lovable little girls.  I really am okay with the fact that they never look like I brush their hair or attach matching bows to their heads, but when they are on the stage at church with a finger in the nose and a skirt over the head, I cannot help but want to make it stop.  And wonder why I'm not on Zoloft.

"Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
                                          Isaiah 40:30-31

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Someone call Whine One One

The month of May has been a tough one.  It was easy to let myself fall into a minor slump.  The children challenged me, our house seemed to be rejecting us, and the heat almost drove me out of my mind.

My youngest daughter, Ginger, has made it her mission to really put everything she has into this 'terrible two year old' thing.  She had been cruising by with the usual "NO"s and typical boundary testing, but now that she is halfway through the year, she seems to have decided to go all in.  She wants "Mama to do it!"  And that means she wants me to do everything and answer all her questions and be there all the time.  No one else will do.  (Daddy is not in love with this stage any more that Mama.)  She screams for me to accompany her on all trips to the bathroom to "help" her only to refuse my help and demand privacy.  Nap time is the real cherry on top of the day.  The only thing harder than getting her down for the nap, is getting her up from one.  Heaven forbid I need to run an errand or take her sister to dance class after nap time!  I will let you imagine the horrors for yourself.

If the trials of mothering a two year old and her sparring partner are no enough, we have seen the passing of not one but two refrigerators.  We like to kill our appliances in twos...it has always served us well in the past.  My wine cooler and an ice chest on the porch are standing in as we wait on parts.  Our perishable foods that are no longer safe with us have been sent to better homes. 

I know that these trials of life (along with the sad solitary window unity in the living room that is trying to cool this little house in record breaking heat) will be fondly thought of one day.  Sometimes I just lose sight of those things.  I was having a hard time packing up for our Mother's Day beach trip, thinking of all the things we had going on and pouting about the strain all the home repairs were making on our pocketbook.  After a pep talk from my husband, I was able to get it together and pull the crazy train into PCB for the most beautiful weekend we have spent at the beach in years.  It was truly a gift from God, just like everyday I get to stay home with my wonderful children that make me want to hug them and pull my hair out at the same time, and ever morning I get to wake up next to my understanding husband who tries to make me laugh through the tears.

"Because of the Lords great love we are not consumed,
 for his compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning;
 great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23                      

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Do as I say do or do as I do?

A very dirty, post-party, birthday girl!
It took a while but the sugar-high has finally worn off, and our house has recovered a bit after a Holy Week filled with egg hunts, family reunions and the birthday of one very special four-year-old.  The week after Easter was like the week after Spring Break or Christmas, when I have to reintroduce schedule and order to the children and even myself.

I have been running myself crazy trying to keep on task and get the girls where they need to be on time, loosing my cool along the way.  As the children scream at each other in the car, I yell over them to settle down.  When they get tired, hungry and cranky in the evening, I am right there with them.  I am feeding off their volume and stress, and they are certainly feeding off mine.

I have forgotten that I am leading my troops by example!  My children are learning how to deal with life by watching their father and me.  All of our children are absorbing ever bit of sarcasm, exasperation, and annoyance we inject into our words.  They are watching how we treat our friends and neighbors, watching how we hold grudges, watching how we esteem ourselves.  Every time we mutter under our breathe about how fat we feel, how put upon we are, how right we are, they are listening and learning. With that said, I am going to do my best to turn down my own noise and communicate kindly and respectfully to and for my children, so I can teach them by a loving and compassionate example.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself,"  Philippians 2:3